To: Not-So-Us From: Not-So-Me

1:40 am.

Tinitigan ko pictures mo, naten. I dunno kung bakit. How many months since we started seeing each other. We acted friends, but that’s all we can ever be. I don’t want to be one of  your burden. I don’t want to be another part of your mom’s sermon. I don’t want you to regret something because you chose to be with me. I just want everything na maging fine. Happy. And I’m contented in our setting. I’m a guy of inconsistency, and I don’t want you to became my victim, because you never deserve to be. I’m a guy of anti-commitment, and I don’t want to just left you hanging just like what he did. I’m a guy whose fond of letting myself to be happy with someone with no strings attached. I’m a guy whose dreams are set, career-centered more on. No place set for love. Until you came. Unexpectedly. I’m envy of those who’ve found their love, at least what we can call temporary love. (Boyfriend-Girlfriend Thing) They have the courage to face the consequences of what they may face on their journey together. A courage which I do not have. This is pointless. Totally pointless. But you came. You’re the game changer. You let me see the magic. The stupidness they possess. That kind of stupidity which you’ll choose to close your eyes and feel the happiness of having each other.. no, not ‘having’ in our case. I do not want to. It’s just that, there always be those days I’m seeing things why i must not love you. And flirting, is the only door which connects us. I want to feel this. I dunno until when. I don’t know what it is rather. But I loved it. I used to it. I’ll keep sending mixed signals. I’ll spoil you with my inconsistency. I’ll keep on giving you with reasons why you must not love me. I’ll let you see my dark side. To test how much you’ll stay. I’ll test if you’re worthy of risking. But baby, please. Don’t stop giving me this feeling. Let’s chill with what we have, with our rendezvous, embrace the ‘unsureness’, the simple touches, the stolen glances, sudden smiles, late night convos, friend bonds, indirect posts. I’ll keep on dancing with you in my dreams, Embracing you in my daydreams and Holding your hand in my poems. It’s a long journey for us ahead, many roads to cross, many eyes to avoid, mouths to fulfill, trials to pass through, hardships just to be with you. So I’ll leave this on what it is. I’m Happy. I think you are also. Together let’s bewitched ourselves with the magic. Until when? Indefinite.

2:17 am.

-a.

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